Reviewed by Shelby Ruman, MS, LPC · Licensed Professional Counselor

Learning how to hang out alone is a skill, and like any skill, it gets easier with practice. This guide walks you through how to go out by yourself without feeling awkward, lonely, or out of place, with simple first steps, solo hangout ideas for home and out in the world, and gentle ways to feel more comfortable in your own company.

Learning how to hang out alone can feel overwhelming at first. Sometimes even going to a store or a restaurant by yourself can make you feel out of place, and being alone can start to feel lonely. But it doesn’t have to. With a little practice, hanging out alone can become something you actually look forward to instead of something you avoid.

Short answer: how to hang out alone starts with picking one low-pressure outing or activity you already enjoy, going at your own pace, and letting yourself get comfortable being on your own. This guide walks through how to go out by yourself without feeling awkward, plus solo hangout ideas you can try at home or out in the world.

How to Go Out Alone Without Feeling Awkward

The hardest part of going out alone is usually the first few minutes. The trick is to start small and pick low-pressure places where being on your own feels normal, like a coffee shop, a bookstore, a park, a museum, or a matinee movie. Bring a book, a journal, or headphones if you want something to focus on, order what you actually want, and go at your own pace. Most people are far too busy with their own day to notice you, and the more often you go out by yourself, the more natural it starts to feel.

Being Alone vs. Being Lonely: They Are Not the Same Thing

Being alone and feeling lonely are not the same. Being alone means you are physically by yourself. Loneliness is an emotional state where you feel disconnected, unseen, or like you are missing closeness and belonging. You can be peacefully alone, and you can also feel deeply lonely in a crowded room. Understanding this difference is often the first step in learning to enjoy your own company.

Psychologists often describe healthy time by yourself as solitude and unhealthy withdrawal as isolation. Solitude is chosen and restorative. Isolation is usually driven by fear, avoidance, or low mood, and it tends to leave you feeling worse. The table below shows how these experiences can feel different from the inside.

Experience	What It Can Feel Like
Healthy solitude	Peaceful, intentional, restful, independent
Awkward alone time	Unfamiliar and self-conscious, but okay with practice
Loneliness	Empty, disconnected, unwanted, emotionally painful
Social avoidance	Staying home because socializing feels overwhelming

The goal is not to become someone who never needs other people. Healthy relationships matter. The goal is balance, where spending time alone does not automatically feel like rejection, failure, or a backup plan.

What Is the Benefit of Hanging Out Alone?

One of the best reasons to hang out alone is freedom. When going out alone you are only on your own schedule, there is no managing multiple schedules or people. If you go shopping and you want to go in that one store with the cool thing in the window, no one is there to negotiate that with you, go in that store! There is no negotiating where to eat, because you are the only one deciding. If you stay in to watch a movie or your favorite show, you get to pick what to watch, and what snacks/drinks to have. If going on a hike or a walk, you can choose your path.

How to Feel Less Self-Conscious When You Go Out by Yourself

Feeling self-conscious when you go out alone is extremely common. Your mind may insist that everyone is watching you, but the reality is that most people are absorbed in their own meals, errands, phones, and worries. Psychologists call this the spotlight effect: the tendency to overestimate how much other people notice and judge us. In truth, the spotlight you feel is almost always pointed only by you.

A little self-compassion goes a long way here. Instead of criticizing yourself for feeling awkward, try treating yourself the way you would treat a friend who was nervous about trying something new. Pairing that with simple mindfulness, such as noticing your breath, the taste of your coffee, or the sounds around you, keeps you anchored in the moment instead of spiraling into imagined judgment.

A few practical things that help when you go out by yourself:

• Bring something to do, like a book, journal, laptop, or headphones, so your hands and attention have a home.
• Choose places where solo visitors are normal, such as coffee shops, libraries, parks, bookstores, and casual restaurants.
• Go during quieter hours for your first few outings.
• Give yourself a clear, simple plan before you leave the house.
• Remind yourself that being alone in public is completely allowed.
• Try not to use your phone only as a shield, practice staying present for a few minutes at a time.

What Are Some Safety Tips for Hanging Out Alone?

• Make sure someone knows where you are (family/friend) in case of emergency.
• Bring your phone in case of emergency or have a way to contact someone.
• Bring a source of light if you are going on a walk when it could get dark outside or is dark outside.
• Be alert! If you are outside by yourself – if you are listening to music, make sure you aren’t cut off from the outside noises completely.
• Stay in well-lit areas when possible.
• When parking, remember where your car is (look at landmarks or even take a picture).
• Park near a well lit area at night and near other cars.
• Remember to lock your car.
• Don’t leave personal belongings in sight (put stuff in the trunk if necessary).

How to Eat Alone at a Restaurant Without Feeling Awkward

Eating alone at a restaurant is one of the most commonly feared solo activities, so if it intimidates you, you are in good company. The discomfort usually fades quickly once you have done it a few times. Start with a casual spot rather than a formal dinner, and consider going at an off-peak time like a late lunch or early dinner when the room is calmer.

Sitting at the bar or a counter can feel more comfortable than a table for one, since it is a normal place for solo diners and you are near friendly staff. Bring a book, journal, or your phone if you want something to do, but also give yourself permission to simply enjoy the food and people-watch. Order what you actually want, take your time, and remember that the staff serve solo diners every single day. With a little practice, taking yourself to lunch or dinner can become one of the most freeing solo hangouts there is.

Your First Time Going Out by Yourself: A Simple Walkthrough

If you have never intentionally gone out alone, it helps to treat your first solo outing as a small, low-pressure experiment rather than a big event. You are simply teaching your brain that you can be out in the world by yourself and be okay. Here is a gentle first walkthrough:

• Choose a familiar, comfortable place such as a favorite coffee shop or park.
• Pick a time when it will not be too crowded.
• Bring something to do, like a book, journal, or headphones.
• Plan to stay just 20 to 30 minutes for the first time.
• Order something, settle in, and let yourself simply be there.
• Leave whenever you feel ready, with no pressure to stay longer.
• Afterward, notice that you did it, and that nothing bad happened.

Each time you go out by yourself, the experience gets a little easier and a little more natural. Confidence with solo time is built through small, repeated wins, not one perfect outing.

Solo Hangout Ideas: Things to Do Alone

• Go to your favorite restaurant.
• Pick up food to go and have a night in, get food delivered, or make your own food at home.
• Go to the movies or have a movie at home.
• Take a walk or go explore nature (with safety precautions of course).
• Hangout with your pets if you have any.
• Clean your house but make it fun (play music or a podcast, have your favorite show on in the background, etc.).
• Start that hobby you’ve always wanted to do (crochet, woodworking, crafting, etc.)
• Conquer that home project you’ve been wanting to do.
• Read something (book, magazine, article etc.).
• Learn something you’ve been meaning to learn.
• Journal with or without a prompt.
• Create art – paint, draw, sculpt, build, etc.

Who Hangs Out Alone? (Hint: Almost Everyone, Eventually)

Learning to hang out alone matters for all kinds of people and life situations. Introverts often recharge through solitude and may crave it, while extroverts can find quiet time harder and have to practice it more deliberately, both are completely normal. People who are newly single or going through a breakup often have to rediscover solo activities they once shared with a partner.

Solo time also becomes especially important if you have recently moved to a new city and have not built a friend group yet, if you are a student adjusting to independence, or if you work remotely and feel isolated during the day. And for anyone who lives with social anxiety, gentle, planned solo outings can be a low-pressure way to build comfort being out in the world. Wherever you fall, the skill of enjoying your own company is worth building.

What to Do If You Don’t Want to Hang Out Alone

Hanging out alone isn’t for everyone, but it is something everyone may have to do from time to time. So why not make it fun with a positive mindset and a sense of feeling “with yourself” instead of “by yourself”. Hanging out alone shouldn’t feel like a last resort, but something that you do every day. Think about it. People often work solo, eat solo, shop solo, read solo, watch tv solo, scroll on their phone solo, etc. And if being alone starts to feel heavier than it should, working with a therapist through individual therapy can help you feel more at ease on your own.

Here are things we can do to reach out to others BUT remember if none of these work, hanging out alone isn’t a last resort, rather another option!

• Call up your friends and family to hangout.
• Video chat with friends and family who live far away if they’re available.
• Contact old friends to get together.
• Meet new people when out.
• Join a new group (support group, hobby group, workout group, etc.).
• Take a new class to learn something (look up free classes in your area).
• Volunteer at your local – food pantry, animal or other shelter, etc.

If any of the experiences above feel familiar, you are not alone, and support is available. We specialize in therapy for anxiety, therapy for depression, therapy for OCD, and more. You can also read more of our articles for practical guidance on building a healthier relationship with both solitude and connection.