June 3, 2025
Grief is usually defined as a natural and deeply personal response to loss, most commonly associated with the death of a loved one. However, grief can also be triggered by other life events like a divorce, job loss or change, serious illness, or moving from one place to another. A commonly asked question about grief is, “How long does it last?” There is no straight answer to this question because the answer is complex. The duration and intensity of grief vary widely from person to person because we all experience things differently.
How long can grief last?
There is no set timeline for grief. Some people may begin to feel more like themselves within a few months, while others can experience grief for years. The grieving process is more like a journey rather than a destination. Working through grief is less about getting over the loss and more about learning to live with it.
Age, the nature and circumstances of the loss, and even someone’s culture can all be factors into how long the grieving process can take. Some cultures encourage outward expressions of mourning, while others may emphasize stoicism and privacy. People’s personal coping mechanisms, the nature of the loss, and previous experiences with loss can all influence how grief unfolds.
Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross identified five stages of grief and labeled them as: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages are not linear, and not everyone experiences all of them. Instead, people may move back and forth between stages, or feel several at once. Every stage also does not look the same for everyone. It’s important to understand that grief is not a checklist to be completed.
How to cope with grief
- Time and space – Your grief is unique to you. There is no miracle answer or guideline for how it will go. Give yourself the time and space you need. It’s ok to miss events if you need to and say no to things when you have too much on your plate already.
- Reach out when needed – If grief becomes overwhelming it’s a good idea to reach out for help whether that be a support group, friends, family, or a mental health professional. The grief journey can be isolating, but you don’t have to do it alone. Learn more about therapy for grief and loss.
- Focus on the new normal – A loss will forever alter the course of someone’s life, but looking at the new normal can be helpful. Sometimes honoring loved ones or creating new traditions in their honor can be helpful.
- Take care of yourself – Sleep, nutrition, and exercise are important, make sure to check-in and make sure you’re getting all your basic needs met. Get out and do things you enjoy, read a book, go on a walk, listen to music, etc.
Everyone heals in their own time
Ultimately, grief doesn’t have a deadline. While time does not heal all wounds, it can soften the pain and help individuals find new meaning and purpose. Support from friends, family, support groups, and mental health professionals can make a significant difference.
If you or someone you know is grieving, it’s crucial to be patient and compassionate. Everyone heals in their own time and way. Grief may not go away entirely, but with time, support, and self-care, it becomes possible to carry the memory of what was lost while continuing to live fully. If you or someone you know is struggling with grief that may need some extra help, reach out to us, we are here for you.
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