Shelby Ruman MS, LPC
Let’s face it. Most of us do it. Have you ever not been able to sleep due to lingering thoughts about what you should/shouldn’t have done? What about deep thoughts in the shower about what you’ll do in a future situation or event? Overthinking is hard to avoid in the fast-paced world we live in today. Sometimes we even overthink our outfit or what we’re going to have for dinner. Thinking carefully about important matters and analyzing the details can be helpful, but excessive thinking can create unnecessary stress and emotional exhaustion.
Usually overthinking begins with simple thoughts. We may wonder whether we said the right thing or made the right choice at work or school. And instead of letting these simple thoughts pass, the mind keeps revisiting them repeatedly. Sometimes our rumination can become overwhelming and the more we analyze situations the more it may provoke anxiety and unhappy feelings. Overthinking can also trap us in a negative thought loop that in turn drains our happiness and leaves us in a less happy mood.
How can we stop overthinking? A big part thing about overthinking is that is takes us away from the present. Sometimes we’re stuck “zoning out” when we should be actively paying attention to the now. A good way to combat this is to use mindfulness or other techniques that help lock in to the present. There are exercises like 5-4-3-2-1 that can help with this. Deep breathing can also help with overthinking because our mind has to focus on the breathing.
Distraction can also help with overthinking. Sometimes our brains tune into one thought and we can’t get away from it. Going for a walk or pursuing a productive activity may help. Sometimes we need a change of scenery which can be as simple as entering a new room. Engaging in positive activities can also help in distracting ourselves from a stressor. And sometimes taking space from something we are ruminating on can help us come to a conclusion.
Improving our interpersonal skills can also help with overthinking. Accepting that things do not have to be perfect is key. We often don’t make perfect decisions, dress perfectly, have a perfect house, or live a perfect life. Being self-aware that we make mistakes and can learn from them is helpful. Sometimes a boundary needs to be broken in order for us to know we need to set it. And sometimes self-confidence comes from more self-awareness and knowing our flaws make us human. Afterall growth comes from experience.
Another way to lessen overthinking is to battle the negative thoughts. Not every thought we have is truthful or realistic. If we learn to reframe negative thoughts to positive it can help relieve overthinking. For example, if we have a thought saying “I always say the wrong thing,” we can challenge this thought and think of times we said the right thing. In turn we can reword our negative thinking into positive by restating, “I sometimes say the wrong thing, but I am not always wrong.” By reframing our negative thoughts we promote more understanding and more positive feelings.
Overthinking can be hard to combat and it can consume our thoughts. However, there are ways to work against it. If you are struggling and need help, reach out to us, we are here for you.